Ten things about 2019:
I ended a dead-end relationship that was not going anywhere and made me feel sad. I knew in January of 2018, this would be my number one goal. In return, (about four months later) I met an amazing human being that is everything I wanted in a life partner. Meaning: if you are not happy, change it.
In 2018, I reflected on all my friends and realized most of them were stagnant and complaining about the same old things. I also felt that I was the initiator with my invitations and constantly doing all the work in the relationship. It took a lot of energy to be friends with people, but it felt like I was always giving. When I stopped inviting them out, they did not call me to invite me out (so maybe it was their wish to end the friendship too). Meaning: this made room for meeting new friends and making new friendships. It also made room for me to meet the man in point. Making space for more - funny never did hear back from one of the friends and two have unfriended me since on FB. At first, it hurt, but now I feel proud of my choice.
I knew in my heart, I would never get tenure track at my university - where I have been employed for nearly 20 years. I had applied six times and kept getting rejected. So when I made the decision, I would work because I loved my job and that I only had six more years to retirement, my attitude changed and so did my relationship with my work. I actively decided I would take advantage of all the work being presented to me: save money, put money towards my retirement, and pension. Meaning: 6 years until retirement.
Financially, I knew I could not actually retire in the next six years unless I made a plan. This year, I decided to minimalize into a studio apartment and invest in real estate where I wanted to retire. I ended up moving into a 500 square feet studio that is three minutes to my work *literally outside my work building, the rent is affordable and simple. It made me downsize. The place I bought will be my retirement home, but for now, I will use this as a vacation place and rent it out when I am not there. So far, the place has brought me a lot of joy. If I lost my job tomorrow, I could easily move out of the studio and pay the mortgage at the new place. I also met with a financial advisor and made a savings plan and retirement plan. It does require me to live frugally and keeping it simple. Meaning: Live within my means. I know when I retire, i will be ready.
This year, my son (who has a drug addiction) almost lost my beautiful grand-daughter and daughter in law because the power of the drugs was so much stronger. With the help of his support network, he was able to get the help he needed. It was not a good experience and scared me. I did not want to lose my son to his addiction again, nor did I want to lose my grand-daughter and my daughter-in-law. It also made me realize the power of asking for help. My son lives 2000 miles away. I really needed others to make this possible. Meaning: you need to ask for help sometimes.
I thought my health and fitness was my biggest priority for 2019. I really focused on achieving my goals, such as finishing a half-ironman and getting super fit. In 2018, I had a broken leg and ankle. Although I accomplished this goal and finished before the cut off time, I realized how hard it really was and then signed up for a full Ironman2020, because I knew how hard it was and how I can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it. Meaning; if others are doing it, so can you. Don't listen to the voices in your head.
Speaking of health, my youngest son was diagnosed with diabetes type 1 this past year, and it was scary. He is just a young man. But it made me realize I need to take care of my health better. My grandma and grandpa both had type 2, it made me rethink what am I doing to my body> my goal for 2020 will make this a priority. Meaning: what you eat and do in life impacts your longevity.
Nearly 55 years of age, I decided to go back to school and finish my Ph.D. (really I thought this would get me tenure track, but alas no, unless I go somewhere else). Two years ago, I went back and finished all my courses. I picked a subject I am passionate about and it has opened new doors, such as going to drone school and being a drone flight operator. I got a research grant that made all this possible, as I try to find a solution to trail user conflict (motors and non-motorized vehicles on public access trails). Meaning: want to live your dreams, you pick your dream and follow through with it. The universe will respond.
The hardest thing of all, downsizing, minimalizing, and getting rid of stuff. I feel this is ongoing, how does one get so much stuff when they really don't have much? I have attachments to things. I was a teen runaway and did not have much a homelife when I was young. I lost all my belongings more than once, and really feel this has impacted me. Some days I am ok with a few items, whereas others I am reluctant to give up something. The tiny studio apartment helped and the new place was purchased furnished from an estate sale (the guy left all his stuff because he died, I purged most of the items but kept most of the furniture because he had great taste. Meaning: downsizing, minimalizing, and simplifying your life is forever.
The most beautiful thing of all in 2019, I fell madly in love with myself. With the end of my dead-end relationship and the ending of user friends, I was able to make room for me. I got into my hobbies and found many solo adventures. I travelled lots on my own and made time for me. In this space, I found true happiness and joy. Meaning, if you are not happy with you, nobody else will be.
Namaste
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